Happy November!

Welcome to the heating season, with a new oil tank recently installed I have to be home for ever 100 gallon oil delivery which is costing me more than just the $2.72 a gallon and I don't think my oil man is real happy about me having to cancel my delivery for tomorrow since neither Shawn or I can be home. So my heat will be set at 58 and we will be snuggling with Odin and sitting under blankets in the living room.
Ah the living room, which I am not allowed to paint the flat white paint "makes the room feel clean and large". Not so much really when you have a 150 pound dog that flings drool everywhere and when you try to wipe drool off of flat paint it just makes a mess. But I guess I will have to continue to work on that. As I grow aggravated over my dirty living room walls, I have the pleasure of watching a 49.9 inch (on the diagonal of course) Samsung 8000 series plasma TV. Not just any TV, the mother of all TVs, a 3D TV, a 3D TV with an Internet connection that can show my pictures if I can ever figure out how to work the remote. A TV which has image retention if something is on for too long, which isn't so great for Odin's love of the Today Show, since the ticker at the bottom image retains into the TV. There were two bonuses to this TV: the picture is nice and Mom got about 2000 frequent flyer miles out of the deal, we paid her.
So I should be up here filling out the Christmas cards, but I just don't seem to have it in me yet - I guess I won't be beating Auntie Paula to the punch this year, they might not make it out til after Mom and I hit the Black Friday sales.
Works is work and there is no use complaining because I need to embrace change and move the fuck on and that's about that.

light bulb moment

I came to a realization today driving home from Boston yet again - I know why I am so over the top about my dogs and why I don't think I will be about children. It took a posting by my cousin Frankie's wife Shannon to confirm it, I understand how people feel and what they do when they aren't feeling well or what something might look like, I don't know that with dogs! I don't know if Odin's itching is some horrible rash or just dry skin or if Fred's ears are really stinky like infection and hurting him or he just rolled in something funcky!

That to me is the difference!

Interesting...

I now have an official job for the fall. I signed my "salary agreement" just yesterday. Like I have always said, teachers aren't in it for the money, I will be making a whooping $55420 next year. Don't be too jealous! I will be teaching a class of 29 regular education students. Well they won't all be regular education but I will be teaching a regular education class starting in September (two math, two science and one reading). That is about to make me vomit because I am worried about finding a balance between meany teacher and let them run all over you teacher....

On a separate note my special education director was polite to me this morning, after being somewhat rude to me the first week of summer school and of course ripping me a new ass for a typo in June. I wonder if she, or any of us, really thinks about what we say and how it impacts people. After here crucifying me for a typing mistake, I really had a gut check into whether or not I wanted to continue to be involved in special education. She very well changed my career and did she even realize it? This has made me think about what I am saying and how I am saying it these days. Hey it only took 32 years.

But as the home loan modification went through and life seems to be getting somewhat back on track financially and everyone around us having children at our age the conversation has come that way once more. Neither Shawn or I are getting any younger. And this has surprised me and upset me. Apparently unnamed people question my want for a child and my "over the top-ness" about everything has brought into question my ability to raise a health, happy child apparently.

So apparently statements about sacrifices that will need to be made to live comfortably with a child are statements of me not wanting children. When really they are just meant to be statements about changes in lifestyle that will be made. Being that I am not great with change, I feel the more talking about it the better.

So tonight as I was driving home from Boston for the 4th time this week I had too much running through my mind. I will need to assess how "over the top" I am, but I don't really want to change it - it is who I am and I make it no secret.

I personally think I would make a great mom but I have little experience in the area so I am just going on gut and what Leah, Kate and Kate have told me. Probably the people who know me best even though I haven't seen them in far too long and don't keep in touch like I should.

....home....

Well since we last spoke I vacationed in Florida with the Dighton-Rehoboth Marching Band. It was hot as hell (or what I think hell would be as hot as) I literally sweat while standing in one place! It was amazing to see the kids march down Main Street in the Magic Kingdom but I could have done without the heat and cost. Heat to the point that I thought I might die at least twice on vacation. My hypertension medication makes me sweat like a sprinkler so you should see how pretty the pictures are! Man the mouse really has you by the balls when its 100 degrees in the shade and $2.50 for a bottle of water.

We returned home on Wednesday and I couldn't have asked for better weather - this is why I live in New England, windows open and the breeze blowing everything off my fridge!
But back to reality on Tuesday, summer school starts and Shawn goes back to work.

Ahh work, still no sign of an official job for the fall and still rethinking a career. After being slaughtered by my special education director prior to the end of school for a typo, I'm ready to teach regular education for a while and if the summer school money wasn't so good I would have been taking the summer off.

But I have lots of plans for the summer, tops on my list reconnecting with some old friends, getting all the home improvement projects started and finished and improving my cooking skills. We have been without a microwave for about a month now and I kind of like it!

First Time

So here goes! I have been thinking about starting a journal again and this seems like it might be the newer way to go. And I surely enjoying typing more than writing these days. Not that I think anyone is going to read this, but Kate has inspired me! Writing in this I hope will help me improve my writing skills. I'm not even sure how one let's people know they have a blog or how someone would find my blog.

I have no kids, unless you count the seven (or so) students with special needs I teach. Well I should say that I use to teach - since I received my first ever pink slip a few weeks ago. Which by the way are really just white. I was told that I have a fifth grade regular education position in our building - but like Frank said - "All we have is a piece a paper that says we DON'T have a job and not one yet that says we do!" You will soon find I am a pessimist. Unfortunately my glass is always half empty these days and I am always waiting for something to happen.

We (Shawn & I) own our own home in a small town with a pretty steep tax rate. It's great! The front/first part of the house was built in the early 1800s, the middle the 50s and the back end the 70s. Evident by our avocado green bathroom sink, toilet and shower stall! I have embraced the avocado!

Things at school are tense to say the least, but we are all strong ladies and we will get through it. I could not do what I do without "the ladies" and apparently the rest of the building couldn't either since they get pulled so much for coverage!

My new found love is quilting, I have always knit and scrap booked. (although I am a little behind on the scrap booking) I am working on a master's in special education from Lesley University but am looking for another career path! I know you shouldn't work just for the money, but come on people, I need to pay the bills! So maybe administration or something with the DESE. I enjoy reading when I can do it without falling asleep, I wish I had the motivation in the morning to walk Odin more and I am loving cooking these days, so bring on the recipes!

So I am about to go downstairs and start making tacos for dinner but at least I got it started right?